I awakened before the sound of my alarm. I stood up and stretched my arms up high. I said to myself this day is going to be amazing. I am absolutely proud of myself that I am finding my way through my moments of uncertainty. It's all coming into perspective for me. The thoughts of uncertainty is completely okay, because it happens. It does not mean I am weak minded or I am broken, but simply that I am human. Being human is a gift and to be alive in this world is an amazing experience. I am fortunate to be in the sights of a watchful eye. Someone watching from a far to guide and mentor me is helpful when journeying in undiscovered territory.
I am absolutely blessed to be here today. I was thinking the other day, in regards to my uncertainty, when my peace and overstanding was going to return. I realized it never left me and I am supposed to be traveling this very path that I am on. Journeying through the obstacles and life's difficulties is molding me and preparing me for my next adventure. Although there may be some cloudy days, it does not mean the sun will not return again. I am generally happy and a positive person, but sometimes I need a moment to unplug and reset. This has been one of those instances where I have been so used to going 100 miles per hour, trying to please everyone that I can, and it finally has caught up to me. I am always trying to fulfill and fix other people's needs and disregarding my own. I suppose when love has filled one's being, it tends to allow one to overlook someone's imperfections even if it is harming. In many ways my kindness is taken advantage of.
One of the things that I know that would help me in my journey is to find my "voice". I do not have a problem speaking up for someone else, but I do not tend to speak up for myself. This is something I need to work on. I am just as important as another human being and my voice matters. I tend to overlook my own personal needs, especially when it comes to complaining about something. I was taught to not complain and this has been a limiting idea that was instilled in me. I have to uninstall this program and find my voice.
I know have been through quite of bit in my lifetime, but my thinking is [who hasn't]. It is not that I do not value or respect the instances that were life changing, but I tend to think of the things that are positive. So in a sense, I do not take time and address the negative things. Admittedly, I do not address the negative things in my life for the fear of getting sucked into the negativity vacuum. I realize not addressing it and blindly disregarding negativity, has allowed it to creep up on me and make its way through my defenses. I am not perfect and I am still spiritually growing.
I have an amazing support system at home. One thing I can say is that my home life is phenomenal. I have an amazing wife and she is absolutely amazing. She is fierce and intelligent. We were talking the other day and she had mentioned finding "my voice" and this is when it clicked for me. I was taken a little bit, because it was exactly what is impacting me. She is very in-tuned to the things around her and she has awakened her third eye. Her third eye sees for me and guides me when I need it. I am thankful for her companionship. Just as I protect her, she protects me. She watches my back and I watch hers. We do not walk in front of one another, we travel side-by-side. She has a voice when I do not. Her roar can clear the lands of intruders.
I cannot fix everyone's problem and I need to stop trying to do so. I naturally want to help people and this is taken advantage of by opportunist. I need to find my voice and learn to say "no" to those who intend to exploit my kindness. I overstand I need to roar for myself and not just others. I must find my roaring voice. Roaring Voices.