My mind has further awakened and I can sense the new beginnings that are awaiting me. After my meditations throughout the week I have been taking a few moments to be deep in thought evaluating the confusion that exists in my mind. It is apparent the many things that I am seemingly unbalanced over is due to my own limiting beliefs. When I go deep into my thoughts I return to my own convictions of limiting beliefs.
These past few weeks of my inner experience of push and pull I fully overstand and realize my own convictions are limiting ideologies. I had to explore these realms beyond my mind to discover new meaning and new beginnings. I have finally resurfaced back to the light. I can feel the energy beams of the light glistening on my face and the freshness of the air filling my lungs.
It is I who holds the key to unlocking my limitations and I realize I took a few steps back, however these steps helped me to move forward. I had reached a point in my self-discovery to my higher-self that had seemingly no path to travel. It was as if I was traveling in a forest path, nature would come to life grabbing me and restricting me from advancing forward. When I reached the seemingly restricted confines of the forest path I had no where to go, but to travel back and retrace my footsteps.
I had wondered why did I travel this far just to go back. As I seemingly digressed I searched for clues as I retraced my steps. I wondered what turn did I not take and what turn was I supposed to take. I realize that maybe I am supposed to digress, because I was not ready to move forward beyond the obstacle that is blocking my advancement. I went back to the point that had forced me to believe there was no way to move forward. I stood there examining the blockage and it is then when I had to face my fears. I had to believe in my self and rid my beliefs that are self-limiting.
I secretly held on to fear of being that monster driven by hate. When I was filled with anger and hate it was the most darkest part of my life and I am beyond terrified of being that person again. I never addressed it nor did I entertain it. I simply locked it away in the darkest corner of my mind and let it sit. That is the blockage in my path, it is the blockage that is attempting to define me and restrict me from my advancement.
As I journeyed to the blockage of the pathway, I met face-to face what is beyond it. It is me, it is the fear that holds me. As I retraced my steps to confront this entity I was arming myself with new energies. As I stared into the eyes of what appeared to be my reflection I can sense it had no soul and it was empty. Its eyes were are as grey as the sky during a thunderstorm. I stared at this reflection, but it was not the reflection of my physical self, but the reflection of the fear casting its shadows of emptiness upon me. As I stood there hypnotized by the essence of its emptiness I had to make a decision. What is beyond the blockage and the very entity that is restricting my movement with its hypnotizing stare? What if it leads to certain emptiness? Am I ready to take on what lies ahead past this reflection?
This reflection is not me and it is trickery; it is the lies that are fed my by own limiting beliefs. I built up the courage and moved forward. Beyond it I see a field of blossoming life. There is visible pathway, but a field of openness and life. I made it, but there is still more to discover and more pathways to journey. I am ready for my next travels. Reflection of Fear.