Holding on to anger will surely turn to hate. Hate is a dangerous road to travel, because one may end up so far off course. Anger will not serve a peaceful purpose nor will hate. Anger and hate will destroy what is good in one’s life. It will spill over to the positive forces that may surround one’s compound. Letting go seems like a simple tasks, however the complexity of it calls for a strong mind. Letting go.
I know about hate and anger, because I used to live with it. My hate started as anger and it would eventually progress to hatred of many to include myself. I was completely consumed and the people who were close to me could see it. It was apparent I was dealing with something. I may have wore a mask on the outside to hide my truth, but on the inside I was burning enraged with fire. A fire that burned deeply for hate and my hate would fuel that fire.
I often wondered why I was holding on to this anger and the hate I had. The excuse of “my brother was taken from me” was losing its meaning and I was blinded by the fire that enraged me. My hate grew and I lost my way. I dis not recognize who I was when I looked in the mirror. I was wearing my skin, but I did not feel like me. I wondered if I could simply let go of this hate. I knew I was the type to go all in or nothing, so I wondered if I could use that burning fire inside me for good. It was worth a try.
I let go of my hate. The fire that was once fueled by negativity is now being fueled by positivity. I removed one fuel source and replaced it with another. I have always had this fire inside of me and I desire to keep it burning. I removed the negativity and fed the fire with a positive aspect. I fed my desire to go all in. I let go of my anger and hate and it dissipated, however my inner damage was already done. My outer world was impacted by my inner rage. The people I once cared about were hurt by my actions and I can never unhurt them. I have to live with that.
I am fully aware of the pain I have caused people, however I cannot dwell on it. I have to let go of that as well. Letting go seems simple enough, but it is a complicated task. I had to fight my addiction to hold on to something. I was saddened by the pain I have caused the people I love. Holding on to it may be small, but will eventually impact me later and become something bigger. It is like holding on to a 5 pound dumbbell, it is not heavy yet my arms will eventually become tired after holding onto for a while.
Letting go may seem easy, but truthfully the comfort of being in what seems normal has a great impact. I had to become uncomfortable in order to change. I had to become uncomfortable in order to let go of all things that no longer served me. Letting go and having nothing to hold on to is the most liberating feeling I have had. The weight on my shoulders were no longer keeping me heavy. I could move freely in my world of peace.
Peace can now be upon me since I have let go of my anger, hate, sadness, and worry. I can control my inner being and letting go is in my control. I am free of the anchor that once grounded me. I fueled my inner fire with positivity and allowed it to burn or off the hate. I was then able to let go of the old me and begin my new life in positivity. Letting go.