The day I decided to take my life back from depression, I knew I had a challenging journey ahead of me. At that time I did not realize the powers I possessed. I did not know how strong I really was. I spent so long hiding behind a mask and never confronting the man in the mirror. I had a preset definition of my capabilities and I realized something that would change my life.
I realized that I was powerful enough to I create my own prison so I should be powerful enough to break through the walls. I tested my theories and I broke through the walls. I have not experienced the sunshine in years so when I freed myself from the dungeon like depths of my mind, my eyes were sensitive to the sun's ray of light and it felt good on my skin. I broke through the bounds that I created and I was free.
The day I freed myself from my imprisonment I knew I had battles ahead of me. I was unarmed and I was afraid of the unknown. I did not know what direction to go, but I knew I had to keep my mind occupied. I took up body building because I have read that it takes up to 6 months to a year to prepare for a show (naturally without any illegal substance). I figured 6 moths was enough time for me to learn a new skill and develop confidence in myself. Bodybuilding definitely kept me occupied and helped me to focus. The process taught me to focus and to keep my goals ahead of me as a point of reference. It was my directional compass. I set a goal to compete in a small bodybuilding competition, but I did not make the cut. I was not lean enough and I still had some work to do. I was heart broken. I could feel myself slipping away back into the dark abyss, but I stopped myself. I kept my head held high and powered forward. I did not want to go back and I refused to be defeated.
I simply picked another competition and I picked the San Jose Championships, which is one of the biggest amateur and professional bodybuilding competitions in Northern California. I competed in that competition and I took 5th place. That is not bad considering I competed naturally. This was the moment I needed to validate that I was on the right path. At that point in my life I still relied on self-validation to ensure I was on the right path. This was only the beginning of positive events in my life. I realized something else that day.
I realized that my definition of capabilities was not just limited to breaking through and escaping my own prison, but I could redefine any aspect of my life. I realized that I am in complete control of my life and I am the one who sets forth boundaries. As I journeyed further into my free world I became lost in a good way. I was searching for answers of who I am and where am I going, but the truth is I do not have to be anyone or go anywhere specific. I can occupy this place right here and thrive. I began to hold to my faith and I can feel my energetic being grow. I started to feel superhuman. Life became more than a simple word, but it became a gift and I am thankful for this gift of life.
I have unleashed my being and I am still unlocking the powers that I posses. My mind is more powerful than what I was brought to believe. There is another world out there to be explored and I am exploring it; life is a gift. The world is not black and white it is full of vibrant colors and filled with love and peace. I look through a lens that serves me and what serves me is peace and love. I am in love with life. I am no longer a victim to depression.