Judgement comes from many different sources. It may be from a judicial setting or it may come from a more informal setting from one’s peers. It could be receiving judgement from a social media platform, because of a post. Judgement is one of the most difficult things I had to endure. Some people may say they do not let other people’s judgement impact them, but truth is I am sure it impacts a person in some way or form. Nobody wants to be judged. Even to this day, I am aware of judgement and have some fear of it. Of course, It is not as bad as it was before, but I am working on it. My spiritual growth to my higher-self is a continual journey.
Every morning I begin my day with saying something positive aloud and meditation. After my meditation I read a spiritual book or a book that is enlightening. After I read my book I begin to write. During my mediation is when I receive my ideas of the topic to write about for my blogs. When I meditate it is like I am watching a calming peaceful movie. It is nothing in particular, but generally it is nature, colors, vibrating pattern frequency waves, and I hear calming sounds associated with it. After I meditate I already have an idea of what I am going to write about.
Once I receive the topic that I am supposed to write about, I cannot veer from it. It is like an overwhelming need to write about it. I allow my mind to communicate to my fingers and it starts typing away.
Sometimes I hold myself back, even if it is for a few minutes, due to fear of being judged. For instance, I was a little hesitant about my blog post yesterday, October 5th, 2018 titled “External Influences”, as it related to mental health issues and my opinion of how it is profitable market for companies and Big Pharma. I sat in my office chair in front of my computer for a few minutes contemplating writing about it. I was very much hesitant.
Yesterday, I was trying to give myself a compelling argument of reasons to not write about mental health. I did not want to offend anyone as I want to spread peace and love. The last thing I want to do is be someone’s reason for sadness. I started to wonder if I was capable of portraying my message clearly without confusion. I know lack of clarity and confusion in words often leads to misinterpretation. I did not want to do that and I feared judgement. I did not want to be judged. I did not want to write “external Influences” and I tried to write about something else, but I could not. It was like a force was leading me to write it. Obviously I wrote it, but I was nervous about the feedback I was going to receive.
Before I clicked “publish” to send “External Influences” to the World Wide Web, I sat there for a bit looking at the button. I realized that I should not have any fear of judgment, because I do my very best not to judge. I try not put that type of energy out to the world. I believe what energy I put out to the world is the same energy I receive back. I lifted my head and rolled my shoulders back and published my blog.
I want to address another judgement issue that I have experienced. The person I am today is not the person I was years ago. In fact, the person I was yesterday, is not the person I am today. I am living in the present and not the past [I will write about that in another blog]. I am unrecognizable from the person I was four years ago. Once I began my journey, I lost many so-called friends. Those people who did not elevate my being and did not serve as a positive influence in my life are no longer part of my inner circle.
Every so often I run into people who knew me from before and immediately small talk on their part is initiated. I wait patiently for the mockery of my physical appearance and spiritual mindset. Of course it does not take long for the person or persons to past judgement to me and to remind me of what kind of person I was. When I am confronted with mockery and negativity I can choose to respond in different ways. I can allow them to define who I am now with their old thoughts of me succumbing to self-doubt or I can respond with peace controlling my inner being and radiate positivity. I cannot control their actions or how they view me, but I can control how I feel and how I respond to them.
Judgement is beyond our being and only a higher power that is not of flesh and blood shall judge. Issues will arise if flesh and blood attempt to hold the gavel of judgement. As you can see in today’s media that judgment is not for a being of flesh and blood. However, it seems to be a necessary evil in today’s society maintain some type of order…but at what cost?
Judgement is tough and no one wants to be judged. Judgement from other people can lead to self-doubt. Being judged can carry long term affects of previous self-doubt and self esteem issues. Never forget that you are the keeper of your thoughts and control your inner being. Never give any one the power over you to control how you feel. Flood your inner being with positivity and rebuke judgement, rebuke judgment of other’s. Judging is like looking in a mirror. The mirror of judgment.